Forgive verses Strict

The bible states, "Forgiveness is divine." There is an issue of forgiving people to maintain relationships. It establishes a sense of humanity and humility, yet we continually allow ourselves to suffer the same or similar harm.

There is a need to be strict and follow procedure. It is important to maintain guidelines and codes of conduct. Identifying something as wrong or having an innate error makes people shrewd and benefit from experience. With zeal, we are able to avoid tumbling through life like leaves in the wind.

Ultimately, we find ideas about right and wrong to establish a flexible code of conduct. Flexibility makes it possible to create ongoing relationships. This is similar to learning basic information, such as: 5 + 5 = 10 and 2 - 1 = 1. These simple mathematical equation build on each other to create complex mathematical equations, such as: interest = (rate) (principle) and q + p = q||p when p is true.

It is possible to see this in life. Forgiveness creates a path of experience. With forgiveness, there is another level of complication to create another experience. Experiences are not always good; ergo, we make plans and modify behavior to gain the type of experience we desire.

Strictness creates a block. It states only certain experiences are important. Other experiences are awful.

There are obviously bad experiences, such as, inhaling an insect. We do not want to inhale an insect while eating. We eat inside or spray ourselves with bug repellent. On occasion, a fly is inside a home. We do not go outside to escape one insect. We watch the fly and darken the home when opening a door. The fly goes to outside, because light creates a sense of safety.

Relationships are complicated. As a Teen, gossip is common amongst women and confuses men. Men attempt to find answers. They find more confusion and sometimes create a decisive block against marriage. Men also continue in perpetuating gossip. It is a systematic defense against gossip and frequently results in immediate results. Some results are good. It could be several years until having a sense of remorse or being able to identify damage to themselves or other people.

I remember Teen gossip. Several people including myself evaluate other women through a personal standard. Other women are too heavy or too thin. They are essentially not them or me. This creates a standard of being a proper woman. Men decide if this is true or false. If the group decides a woman is false, the woman leaves. Women remaining in the group establish partners for marriage. Life continues. There may not be any regrets until finding it is increasingly difficult to interact with people outside their group; ergo, rude comments about friends and acquaintances is a method of showing interest and communicates manipulation.

There was a man similar to my age in an adjacent group of friends. Even though he was dating someone, we were young. I heard positive statements about him regularly. He already responded to me by with rude comments and a reassertion that he was in a relationship. The issue was over for me. Resistance to the idea made me immediately leave. This was proof I do not like him, even when social opinion dictates it is a good match.

He and his girlfriend became more serious. I resented gossip about him. They said many rude things about him, because of an assumption that I was interested in him. He an his girlfriend ended their relationship. No longer hearing gossip about him, gossip changed to derogatory comments about her.

It was awkward. He was an acquaintance. The surrounding gossip and other activities did not make sense. Social opinion is good, yet only one measure of finding someone to marry. There is a need to date, discuss priorities and identify issues of compromise.

Now, I am in the position of being an older person around a younger person who is similar to my younger self around places and on the internet. They gossip and get attention from people by saying whatever about whomever, including, me. Most would say it is justifiable to become upset and restate problems associated to gossip. Gossip is something everyone does.

I am older. Having more experience, it is inappropriate for an Adult to have excessive involvement in a Teen's life. It is fine when Teens are inappropriate. People understand they are young and still figuring out life.

Identifying gossip as "wrong." the goal is to mature by modifying behavior until finding a workable solution. As an older person, I recognize potential problems and have few solutions besides avoiding them and leave parenting issues to their Parents.

Should I become proactive in punishing her? No. I was similar. I see Teens doing the same thing. I could interfere and offer advice. Advice could be faulty. What if advice or taking action creates more problems? As an Adult, I listen to what people say. I do not internalize or make assumptions. There has to be substantial proof of statements. Without proof, there is no need to take action.

Sometimes, people take physical action against someone because of gossip. Sometimes, people are physically hurt because of words. It is a draining experience when continually having to defend yourself from people believing gossip. It is seldom when a Teen knows this. Ergo, they never modify conversation to be more accurate or less judgmental. Even as an Adult, it is easy to appear hypocritical.

Strictness leads to error. Being overly strict about gossip, it becomes difficult to talk. If taking physical action against someone, there is guilt. There are ebbs of guilt when statements against them are false. Guilt makes it difficult to forgive other people and ourselves.

Seeing consequences to people, it becomes important to stop the thing that is harmful. Without gossip, freedom to say what you are thinking, it is difficult to express concern or an honest opinion. We can become rigid. This makes it difficult to clarify facts. Without clarification of facts and wandering through the finite inputs of knowledge, we either act without clarity or become restrain ourselves until life is a burden. We feel oppressed. Without freedom, life is cold.

I will pause and do nothing. She is automatically forgiven. I do not have interest in her other Teen Friends. There is nothing to gain or lose. I have done the same and understand. Now, I am alert to potential danger. Even with forgiveness, potential danger changes my behavior towards them.

Forgiveness and strictness work throughout time. Each instance builds a plateau. From that plateau, we decide to be flexible or strict until reaching the end of an event. Sometimes, the event never ends. A shift from tactic to tactic occurs throughout a lifetime. The goal is to become a competent person who is able to continually mature by understanding greater levels of complexity.

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